i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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