I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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