you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
