it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
