You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
