i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
