I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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