You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
