Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I wear drunk well.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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