I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
