OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I love you. Go after that dick
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
