Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
