He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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