we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
