whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
