Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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