Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
