im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You had me at "let me see your balls"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize