you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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