So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
