you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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