What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
