Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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