just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
