just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
