So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
