Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
