My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
