craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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