5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
