I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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