it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
