For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
