Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
