I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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