I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
