You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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