I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
