U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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