I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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