So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
