I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize