OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
id be glad to
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize