Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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