I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
