I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize