We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
