Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So drunk its hurt
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
