who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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