I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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