Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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