yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
