New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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