Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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