xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
