At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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