my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
