i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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