You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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