Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
