Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
