Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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