Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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